友情は貴重である

yǒu yì shì wú jià


FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...
calibration complete,
now searching......still searching....
still searching......sorry, no friends found.





This is exactly how i have been feeling since i left Nigeria, i have not had any real friends that has stood the real test with me, they are either too selfish o they become too jealous when i try to help others too.

Ok let me describe myself a little, i like to go out of my way sometimes to help people no matter what it costs, most times i am always on the loosing end but it is ok as long as they are happy. I love to make friends with new people because i know knowledge, apart from God and bible , comes from people, so i try to be as friendly as i can be.
don't get me wrong i dont try to plaese everybody, because if i do i am offending God. I just try my best, i have had friends leave me because they have jealousy in them because"i am too kind".

Or wait maybe it is me that has the issues??? hmnmmn... but is it wrong to be nice?
or maybe it is because i am the type that likes to be told the truth all the time, even if my breath stinks: TELL ME!! and maybe i have being too harsh on some of them by telling them how i feel about something they just did and they not liking it.

I have had a friend that we have being very close since kindergaten and even though we are like five thousand two hundred and forty four plus miles away from each other we are still very close. i can call the person today and we would catch up on so many things, i have made friends also along my educational line that i have also added to my friends list and we all talk. i use the trees as a meaphor of me and my friends in nigeria, we can reach and communicate over a plot of land (issues) but we cant touch...hmnn

so now i am wondering is finding good friends in yankee that tough or is it just me?? everybody is all about themselves, money and only call you when they need your help.

sometimes i call people to just say hi and they think i need something from them, or they just want to end the call the moment they say hello. and trust me i am not a stalker because i dont like being turned down, so i can be friends with you for like weeks and not have your number because i want it to be mutual and not a right for me to have it.

ok let me give you some examples:

this girl, we worked together thru the semester, me helping her and vice versa. two weeks after the semester ended i just called to say hello and after like 2 rings it went to Vmail, and because i did not expect that i hung up and then dialed it again just to leave a Vmail, then her boifriend picked it up:

BF: hello


9jaot: hi can i be on to .....



BF: who is this?


9jaot: it is me ......



BF: she doesn't want to talk to you anymore (she was gigling in the back).



i just deleted her number str8, wat insult.

i have had so many like this that we work together thru the semester and after that they tell u not to call them again. WOW, such is life!!

but i have had one great american friend that we have been thru thick and thin and we are still friends till today, it is like pinky and the brain kind of friendship, one tall one short, one thin one fatty and so on LOL but it ends every semester and picks up the next. but right now we are no longer in the same school, the person even plans to come to my school, that is how close we are.

so many stories. even naija people are not very diferent, some want you just for sex and others for benefits. That is not what life is about, *sobs*

i just want a friend for me !!! is that too much to ask????


these are just my thoughts and i did not proofread at all, sorrry if it sounds weird or distorted ......